Ways to Attract People

5 Ways to Attract People

The Secrets to Attraction:

This might be a weird article for me to be writing for anyone that knows me…I am the biggest introvert ever. However, despite the fact that socializing feels unnatural and mentally exhausting for me, we all still need and want to build new connections and good relationships with others. So whether you’re trying to make new friends, network in your career field, or attract your crush, these are some helpful tips and things to keep in mind that I’ve found as successful ways to attract people:

Radiate positivity:

If you want other people to feel good about you and gravitate towards you, you’ve got to feel good about yourself first. Workout, clear your mind, meditate, treat yourself to a bubble bath. If you know you’re going to see that person you’ve got your eye on, do things beforehand that put you in a good mood (ie. watching funny Youtube videos or listening to your favourite music). Smile with your eyes and send off those happy positive vibes.

Exercise Happiness

Avoid outcome dependency:

Stay present in the moment that you are sharing with someone. Don’t think about hooking up in the end or the outcome you are hoping for. This way you won’t come off as anxious, needy or awkward. And be okay with yourself if it doesn’t workout. Don’t depend on anyone else to make you happy, give you your self worth or let them hold power over your emotions.

Be busy:

Have a busy life. Be independent and develop some hobbies or passions that fill up your schedule. Not only is this good for your own productivity, self-assurance, and happiness, but it also falls into that good ‘ol hard-to-get supply and demand game. Of course there is a balance you need to watch before you become unavailable too much that they lose interest altogether.

Office Desk Decor

Match your vibes to theirs:

Humans are naturally tribal and we like others who are similar to us. You can apply this to when you’re hanging out with someone else to make them like you more without necessarily knowing exactly why. Dress in a similar style to them (avoid being obvious about that though) or subtly adopt similar words, nuances, and language both verbal and physical that they frequently use.

Ask Questions:

Let’s be real here–there’s only one thing people really care about in the end and that’s themselves. Most people view others in relation to themselves. How does this benefit me? How does this make me feel? Capitalize on this and make the person you’re speaking to feel important and valued. Show genuine interest in what they have to say by asking questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. You really don’t have to say much and they will like you!

What are some ways you’ve tried to attract people (both friends and crushes)? Did they work? Leave a comment below!

Co-written by rapper/entrepreneur/life coach, Alex Foster-Roman. Check out his other work here and here.


  1. The “Radiate Positivity” part resonated with me the most, Istiana. In my case, I have used two principles with people. Number one, I remain relaxed, laid back during conversations. I have understood that we should not listen to respond but to understand, comprehend. Understanding is deeper than knowledge. This way, I ensure I don’t allow a surge of feeling during interactions. Stay relaxed, mellow. Number two, I always put myself in the other persons shoes. I try to understand their point of view. Once, you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking of the outside world, making room for the variety of people in your mind, you’ll be surprised how easy it is to attract and retain people.

    1. That’s great advice Ravi! I agree being relaxed will translate across to other people and they will feel more relaxed around you too. Like you said, listening to the person with empathy and putting yourself in their shoes is also such a great one! Thanks for reading and sharing that! ๐Ÿ™‚

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